"Well how did you know?" I asked.

"I just knew," she replied.

"But how? HOW?" I insisted.

She just smiled and continued icing the cake. Last summer I was standing in Erica's kitchen and somehow we ended up talking about relationships. I remembered Erica telling me about meeting her husband and just knowing that he was the one. I'll be honest. I didn't get it. Excuse me. I'm slow. I needed a more practical answer, one that seemed logical. She never gave it to me. She didn't need to. When TJ and I got together, I knew. Don't ask me how I knew. I can't really explain this phenomenon. I just knew. 

Fast forward to November. We were in Vietnam for a week long holiday. After exploring Ho Chi Minh City, TJ took me to a small beach town where we had simple, honest moments. Riding bikes to the fisherman's town, splashing in the rain, eating at the same two restaurants every day, and talking about where we wanted to be in ten years. Then early one morning, as I was getting ready for breakfast, he asked me to come sit next to him. He had his guitar out and said, "I want you to hear something new. Can you tell me what you think?"  The song was about us. "I feel at home when..." After the song he made this cute speech and told me to reach into his shirt pocket. And there it was...my ring with an engraving that read "s. lemonade." We had joked that when we get old we'll sit on the porch together drinking homemade strawberry lemonade. Really. I can't imagine a more perfect person to grow old with. I said, "YES!" [my favorite word in the English language]. So now we're engaged. It has been two months and I love him more everyday. I can't wait for the wedding, but most importantly I can't wait to be married. I can't wait to say, "My husband..."

And now if you'll excuse me. I need to go dance around the room with my fiance.

For our holiday, TJ and I went off to a secluded island called Koh Rong, two off the coast of Cambodia.  

I'd like to tell you about the books we read.

I'd like to tell you about the content that went into our journals.

I'd like to tell you about how the beginning of 2011 was rocky and how I manage to come out of it alive, kicking and screaming. But very much alive.

I'd like to tell you about how it makes a whole world of difference when you're swimming in crystal clear turquoise water vs. a pool. Honest.

I'd like to tell you what it was like to live like Jane and Tarzan for 4 days (the treehouse was fun!)

I'd like to tell you about TJ's brilliant idea to take me kayaking on the rough seas and how I got seasick and how I wanted to yell at him but stopped because loud noises made my head hurt.

And I'd also like to tell you how at night he would hold me like he was afraid the sea wind would carry me away and how he would softly brush the hair out of my face.

But really there's not much time. There's life to be living. Love to be giving. And people to be enjoying. Life is changing fast these days and I really don't want to miss any of it.

So for now, enjoy this wedding I had the pleasure of assisting for Lori Paladino at her brother's wedding. The wedding was held at the Historic Castle Green in Pasadena and had an old Hollywood feel that made me scream with delight. I think my heart did a happy dance when I saw Lucille Ball framed (do you know how much I love I LOVE LUCY?!).  Everything was just beautiful and heartwarming. I am sure there was not a dry eye in the house. 

Enjoy and Happy New Year!

My schedule has gotten the best of me yet again, but this time I am going to let that go and admit that I'll never have it all together. I am starting to be fine with that realization. There are things that have been more pressing than blogging, or simply more important to sustain my happiness. Like family, like love, and date nights.

I remember the feeling I had this time of year last year. I had only been in Cambodia for a few weeks. I was alone. I had missed Thanksgiving with my family and was about to miss Christmas. It was a confusing time. There was a sense of feeling lost and strangely grounded at the same time. One foot on land and one foot mid air. I was certainly frightened and confused. I wasn't sure I had made the right decision to come to Cambodia. But there was also this knowledge that everything will eventually work out that made me feel okay with not being...okay.

And now it's been a year and life is good. Amazing even. I am beyond happy. I work with an awesome group of healing art therapists. My clients are Cambodian children who have gone through trauma and they are powerful, insightful, strong. I have wonderful wedding clients for 2012 and I can't wait to document their weddings and party (not too hard) with! I have a wonderful fiance (oh did I not ever tell you about our engagement?) and we're planning...well, planning on planning our wedding in 2013. So I can't complain about life. It has been so good to me.

Plus, Sonya of Bliss Creations emailed to let me know that Mary and Hugh's wedding has been published in a Hong Kong magazine called "In." It's been a little over a year but happy anniversary to Mary and Hugh. I'm thinking of you two. It was a wonderful day and I can't get over how lucky I was to have the honor to document your love.

the weather turns colder, 

but as long as we believe 

love doesn't get older. 

We could fly

you and I

on a cloud 

kissing, kissing" 

 -Bliss

 Ahh. The anticipation. So worth it.

You can see more of the wedding here.

Wedding Chicks also featured the bridal shower today, with descriptions by Erica on how to get the look. Go here to see the feature and check out more photographs. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! I'm off to the Cambodian countryside thinking of gravy, sweet potatoes, and stuffing.

It seemed that when I turned twenty nine last year, what I was looking forward to was actually turning the big three-o. I don't normally think much about my even years because I've convinced myself somehow that those are bad years and odd years were the damn good GOOD year. Well...twenty nine proved to be a tough year and when thirty approached, I knew I wanted to make it special to celebrate the fact that I made it thru a hard year. So TJ and I hopped on a plane and went to Malaysia.

There is nothing more spectacular then turning thirty and saying goodbye to Saturn's Return, especially with TJ by my side. Walking in Melaka, discovering nooks and crannies, playing on a see saw for the first time, banana leaf curry, malls, jumping on the bed in our hotel. I love Malaysia!

[And I have an unhealthy obsession with museum gift shops].

Danielle and Mark are happily married now ( just wait until you see their wedding!) but I wanted to go ahead and post their engagement shoot because A) they are a cute couple and B) they are so amazing and fun and have vibrant personalities! Danielle actually called me last year a few weeks after getting engaged on July 4th weekend. We spoke for awhile on the phone and I thought we had a great connection.  And then I spoke to them over skype and thought, "I am really liking this couple!"  However, it wasn't until I met the couple face to face that I realized how much I adore them. They are stinking cute and the stories they told about pulling pranks just had me wiping tears from my eyes!  What I remembered distinctly was the way Mark lit up when he was sitting next to Danielle and telling me their engagement story. And what I remembered from Danielle was the way she smiled when she said," He is the first man I am with that I can be myself completely." I think at that point I must have let out a happy sigh. Now as I am looking at their photographs I am letting out another happy sigh. In fact, a million happy sighs.

"We are all wanderers of this earth, our hearts are full of wonder and our souls are full of dreams."

I met T.J. the first day I arrived in Phnom Penh but was so jet lagged that I couldn't remember what he looked like, let alone the conversation we had. Months later when I was out with my friend, Kate, I felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned to see him grinning at me. "Hey, we should grab dinner or drinks sometime," he yelled over the music. I, still buzzed from the dancing, nodded my head clumsily and said, "Uh huh sure, sure." And when he disappeared into the crowd, Kate tugged on my arm, impatiently wanting to know who that was. Not recalling, I shrugged my shoulder and said, "Well...I'm not sure.  I think he was just being nice though." "Well I think he likes you," Kate said pointedly.

T.J. and I did finally have dinner but still railing over a breakup I ended up talking mercilessly about my ex-boyfriend. That went on in every one of our dinners and lunch. I spoke about the breakup, I spoke about my life with my ex-boyfriend, I spoke about the things I missed, what went wrong, and what I could have done better in order to save the relationship. I didn't have an inkling that T.J. liked me caused he just sat there and listened. Patiently. When I went home to Colorado in June I still had a tiny hope that Matt and I would get back together, perhaps because I thought getting back together meant I wasn't giving up. But truth be told, the relationship wasn't meant to be fought for. It was meant to be thankful for and grow from. I spent five long days packing, shooting a wedding, packing some more, trying to process, crying (no wailing...drenched in sweat and tears). 

When I walked onto that plane to go to California I was ready to move forward. And through it all, there was T.J.  He had turned into my most trusted confidant.  It never occured to me that I would like him more than a friend. It never occurred to me that it must have meant something that I get excited for our daily skype sessions (me in the States and he in Cambodia). None of that crossed me mind until one day the puzzle pieces came together and I knew I liked him. The irony of it was that I chose to tell him when he was making a connecting flight from Seoul to California and by this time I was back in Cambodia. And so began our daily ritual of writing to one another.

"The desert smells like rain" he wrote and I knew then that I could love him.